One of the few ways I honored the wrapping up of last year (last year!) was spending a couple hours reading pieces I wrote here and over at Today's Mama during the course of the year. I rarely go back and read these pieces. Oh, to find the errors, and wish I would have said this or that clearer. Needless to say, our memories made me smile, and some of the writing made me do facepalms. Mostly, I felt really happy that I do this blogging thing.
In my writing I could see missing things, one of them being detail. I suppose in a way I use simple words to describe how I'm feeling in an attempt to not make this space too personal. I saw how I was hiding behind and therefore over using words like gratitude, blessed, let it be, letting it go, simply.
In an attempt to start the new year off in the direction I wish to go with my writing, I wrote a piece for Today's Mama that is quite personal for me. When I finished the piece I felt really good and really drained. Mostly, I felt terrified to "submit for publishing". This morning I read it with fresh eyes and thought - yes, I can do this.
3 comments:
I think it was really neat to have these glimpses into a earlier version of you! Scrabble, huh?
But in typing this, I realize that this whole reading of oneself is a very tricky business. I also wrote in a lot of journals - and I still have them - or maybe my parents have them? - well, they are somewhere - and I have NOT ONE BIT OF DESIRE to reread them. Or throw them away. That's a brave thing you did: finding, reading, throwing away, and even rereading your posts from the past year.
The photo of your boys, reading to each other? It does make me think about where the value lies in all this writing. It's something else that you mention often: The sharing. The community. The giving (and not just via motherhood).
I also have a tough time looking back sometimes - I recently threw out some college-year journals also after reading through them. However, I couldn't throw out the 4th grade creative writing workbooks where I said I was going to become the first woman president and bomb Kadafi. ;) I love that little girl even if I'm more for the peaceful-side of negotiations now.
You can do it ... and you are!! That piece for Today's Mama, one of my faves. Keep it up!
xoxo,
April
PS - I adore this photo! (Don't know how I missed this post?!)
Post a Comment